This query contains a host of problems that appear in queries we see daily. We think you can pick out the major ones. What do you see wrong with this query--please share your ideas with us and others by commenting.
If you cross- check your query with this one and it matches up pretty closely, it's probably a good idea to revise your query. By the way, people always ask us this, and, yes, we have gotten queries almost exactly like thism which has made us very selective about the medical practicioners we visit. :)
Although I realize that publishers only seek to maintain the literary status quo with the junk they produce, I am sending my 2nd 200,000-word fantasy novel for your perusal in case you have chosen to buck the system. The first book in the series has been published by SomePOD, Inc., and it is selling like crazy—one book a week.
I am a surgeon by trade, but, while operating, I constantly make up stories in my head. During one particularly rough operation wherein the patient almost died twice on the table—we are not sure why—I got an idea for a story and just had to write it down. Two months later, I DON’T WANNA DIE was complete. Now I have finished the sequel, OOPS! A NEW BEGINNING, in which the same 12 characters continue where the last story left off. I believe both novels have movie potential, and friends that have read my work encouraged me to get it published. Even one of the editors I sent OOPS! A NEW BEGINNING to on my own said he had never seen anything quite like it, so I am sure that it will change the industry.
As for my publishing credits, in addition to my first novel, I have published several articles in the Journal of Medicine and Mad Magazine, and I write the newsletter for my daughter’s Girl Scout troop. I know that if I can get the right agent, I will make him a lot of money, because I am very prolific and have lots of ideas for the next two sequels. Also, I possess great personal charm that will serve me well on the talk show circuit.
Thank you for reading my entire manuscript. I know you won’t reject it, but if you need to send it back to me for any other reason, like to change a couple of words, you can send it in the envelope I have provided. I can’t wait to start our working relationship!
Dr. G. Ima Writer