Thursday, May 04, 2006

Reality Rejections Redux

I’ll begin by saying that those who commented are very astute as everyone got the quiz right: You don’t bind a manuscript before submitting it to anyone in publishing. Also, please remember that I am not laughing at anyone’s query efforts when I post these. What is being attempted will be a helpful exercise only so long as most of the people who read the posts gain something from them. The best way to learn some of this query stuff is by seeing examples and feedback. Please do not take offense if you recognize something you wrote. No one, not even us, will remember who sent what where as we delete them as soon we answer and comment on them. We will continue with this exercise, whenever possible, as long as viewers feel these comments are helpful.

Sent: 5/4/06

To Whom It May Concern,

Here is another variation on the “Mr. or Ms.” posting of yesterday. I know for a fact, having heard other agents comment on this at writers’ conferences, that this will get you an instant rejection. Another related mistake is when the “Cc:” address area is filled with hundreds of agent’s email addresses. None of us like spam, and, in both instances, this is exactly what this is. If you are interested in establishing a relationship with an agent, please address that agent by his or her name (until he or she gives you permission otherwise). By the same token, most agents usually address those who query them by their titles and last names until given permission to do otherwise. This is business courtesy, which is followed throughout the business world, not just in the publishing industry.

Sent: 5/4/06

a romance/drama novel
Copyright, 2006

This was it--no greeting, no nothing--just this. There are two things in this opening that I’d like to comment on: (1) In defining his novel, this writer sent the message to me that he didn’t really know what he had written. Most novels fit the drama category, so just call it a romance…if it can be defined as one. In the defining, though, is where many writers fall flat on their patootie (which is industry lingo for “patootie”). For instance, if you call your work a romance novel, make sure your story isn’t told totally from the male character’s point of view. Although the lines are being blurred on what is a romance and what isn’t, this one is a no-brainer. The correct definition of the type novel that I think the writer is trying to describe is probably a love story, which fits into the mainstream category, not in the romance genre. However, I just don’t know what the writer meant, and that leaves a bad impression. (2) You do not have to inform us that your work has a copyright. We are well aware of it, so this is useless information, and, as such, labels you as a rank beginner. Copyright is granted as soon as something is written, and all agents are aware of this (or should be!). By the way, if this information is included to deter someone from stealing your work, it is a waste of time to include it. The type of people who infringe upon copyrights aren’t going to be deterred by this. Ask the people involved in the recent scandal involving the Opal Mehta novel…but that’s another story.

Sent: 5/4/06

There were several queries that came in with relatively low word counts.

What is it with all these 60,000 word novels? There have been a rash of these lately and until we find some editors who want these, we are not taking them. Novels are getting smaller. I might consider one at 65,000 words, but it better be something that I fall in love with. Sixty thousand- word novels are just too short for us right now. Books of more standard lengths, those that center around 85,000 words, are hard enough to place in this overly glutted market. Why make it more difficult to get an agent behind your work? Wait until you are published to experiment with word length, POV, etc. Until then, try to stay as close to the standards as possible.

Sent: 5/4/06

…then I received query of almost 800 words packed in three long, dense paragraphs.

It was like this writer had decided to write a short story that mirrored her book. There was no other information; it was all about the plot of the book. I didn’t read all of it. I just skimmed through, stopping here or there when something caught my eye. My first conclusion was that there was a good bet that this was probably an example this person’s writing style. Dense and unfriendly--I shudder the thought, as do most readers. Writers, have a little mercy on your readers. Don’t give them a boring diatribe that puts them to sleep. Give their eyes a rest by leaving a little white space here and there. A refreshing way to do this is through conversation (dialogue), the most active of all writing.

Sent: 5/4/06

A writer with a penchant for pedestrian heroics must come to grips that for every life he saves, something tragic will happen to him.


That concludes Reality Rejection for today. Until next time

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Reality Rejections

I had a unique idea today. Okay, not that unique, but still...

Why not post to the blog some real reasons why I’ve rejected writers who queried me today? This would be something like reality TV. For fun, and for the lack of another name, let’s call it just plain “Reality Rejection.” Don't get me wrong, though, I am not poking fun here. This kind of help is what we all truly need: a demonstration--live--of what we are doing wrong. As is usual, I would like feedback--likes, dislikes, and such. No nasty comments, okay? You may be next. :)

Sent: Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Dear Mr. or Ms: (This is all that was used for the salutation.)

This one’s easy. Apparently this writer doesn’t care who his agent is. Just get me an agent, any old agent will do. Even a scammer would be okay cause I need an agent. Please do your research, writers and tailor your query to the best agent for your particular type of novel. Fishing with dynamite is illegal and shot gunning for agents should be. The last word: if you are going to query us, read our Web site first. Obviously this person didn’t.

Sent: Wednesday, May 03, 2006

There's a 22,500-word property for the juvenile market by a published author that I'd like to submit to you for possible representation.

Yes, I’m sure there is—somewhere—but not at 22,500 words there isn’t, especially if it’s not more clearly defined.

Sent: Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Killer style. As they say in the biz, you’ve got style, really. I shall leave that to your judgement.

If you are going to …”leave it up to my judgment.” I’m going to judge you on your spelling. It’s “judgment,” not “judgement.” And please don’t tell me what another writer says about your book or how many awards it’s won or how much your family or your neighbors loved it. Book markets encompass the entire world. It matters not what one person or even a group of people says about a book that has to be sold to a world audience. Unless of course, that person has world celebrity and can proclaim his/her adoration to a worldwide TV audience.

Sent: Wednesday, May 03, 2006

For this writer, I would have to copy the entire novel description and that would be embarrassing. The reason I rejected this work was because he/she sent me a paragraph that told me nothing about the important details of the work and all about the person—what contests the novel had won, how much the era it was written in intrigued him, etc. Can you imagine this on a book cover? How many readers would turn to page one?

Sent: Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I have completed a novel in a genre rarely seen.

And that genre is. . .? A genre rarely seen is probably not a genre at all—might you think?

Sent: Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Subject: sending the h.r. ms?

I pulled this one out of my spam filter. It catches anything that doesn’t have query or query letter or something with query in it in the Subject: line. I rejected this one anyway and not for this but for other problems. Don’t use something like this as a subject if you want me to read that query you spent so much time writing.

Sent: Wednesday, May 3, 2006

…professionally critiqued and has received its final draft. I have also completed a solid synopsis of the manuscript. It is ready to go. I would be happy to mail you a complete and bound copy of the book…

Okay, now it’s your turn. Tell me, in one sentence, what is wrong with this statement? I’ll give you a clue: It’s something that tells me this person is a very amateur writer.

This will just about do it for today. If you like this sort of thing, let me know and we’ll do more of it. Hope it helps.