Monday, June 05, 2006

Query Example

Here is an example of the type of e-mail query we would like to receive in regard to structure. If you use this format for a regular mail query, remember to include an inside address and date and adjust the content accordingly. Also, please note this same structure can be used in a cover letter that goes with a resume; people have gotten jobs using this same form with the appropriate information substituted.

Dear Ms. Joneson:

I am writing to submit for your consideration my 90,000-word adult mainstream novel, GREAT LOVE LOST, in which fate pits two sisters against each other as they battle for the love of one dedicated physician fighting an epidemic no one realizes exists.

GREAT LOVE LOST is the story of two sisters in love with the same man who don’t realize it until a fateful encounter at a mortuary. The ensuing chaos drives one sister, Jess, to attempt suicide, and the other, Lia, to join the Peace Corps. Fate strikes again as the man, a doctor, is sent to a conference on SARS in China, where Lia is stationed, and their passion is rekindled. However, their love is once again challenged when a threatening letter from Jess arrives, and Lia contracts SARS shortly thereafter.

My previous publishing credits include: LIES, MORE LIES, THEN SOME CHEATING, a mainstream novel published in 2002 by Rose Heart Publishing, an imprint of Lemon Slice Books; LOVE IN SUMMER, another mainstream novel, and its sequel, LOVE IN WINTER, published in 1999 and 2001, respectively, by Doubledog Press; and finally, LOVE TO LOVE YOU, another mainstream novel that will be released in 2008 from Major Publisher Press.

I appreciate the opportunity to have you review my novel, GREAT LOVE LOST, for possible representation. Thank you for your time and consideration; I look forward to hearing from you soon.


Ima Writer

Bad Query Example

This query contains a host of problems that appear in queries we see daily. We think you can pick out the major ones. What do you see wrong with this query--please share your ideas with us and others by commenting.

If you cross- check your query with this one and it matches up pretty closely, it's probably a good idea to revise your query. By the way, people always ask us this, and, yes, we have gotten queries almost exactly like thism which has made us very selective about the medical practicioners we visit. :)

Dear Agent:

Although I realize that publishers only seek to maintain the literary status quo with the junk they produce, I am sending my 2nd 200,000-word fantasy novel for your perusal in case you have chosen to buck the system. The first book in the series has been published by SomePOD, Inc., and it is selling like crazy—one book a week.

I am a surgeon by trade, but, while operating, I constantly make up stories in my head. During one particularly rough operation wherein the patient almost died twice on the table—we are not sure why—I got an idea for a story and just had to write it down. Two months later, I DON’T WANNA DIE was complete. Now I have finished the sequel, OOPS! A NEW BEGINNING, in which the same 12 characters continue where the last story left off. I believe both novels have movie potential, and friends that have read my work encouraged me to get it published. Even one of the editors I sent OOPS! A NEW BEGINNING to on my own said he had never seen anything quite like it, so I am sure that it will change the industry.

As for my publishing credits, in addition to my first novel, I have published several articles in the Journal of Medicine and Mad Magazine, and I write the newsletter for my daughter’s Girl Scout troop. I know that if I can get the right agent, I will make him a lot of money, because I am very prolific and have lots of ideas for the next two sequels. Also, I possess great personal charm that will serve me well on the talk show circuit.

Thank you for reading my entire manuscript. I know you won’t reject it, but if you need to send it back to me for any other reason, like to change a couple of words, you can send it in the envelope I have provided. I can’t wait to start our working relationship!


Dr. G. Ima Writer

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Some More Query Stuff

I know this is about book openings and that you had a previous discussion on query letters, but I'd like to combine the two discussions and get your opinion on the query letter opening. I have read everything from the query letter being just an informational piece that leads to reading the synopsis, to it should open with something other than, "Thank you for taking your valuable time to read ...," to something that should quickly grab the attention of the agent so that he/she wants to read more that the author has written. What does your team like to see?

Maybe we are fuddy-duddies, but we like our query letters patterned after the business letter—no hype, no gimmicks, just plain facts. We like the important information (at least what we consider important) right up front. Things like the title of the work, its category (fiction or nonfiction, literary fiction, if literary, genre type, if genre, mainstream, if mainstream), word count, etc. If you don’t know what you’ve written, don’t query. If you, as your novel or book’s creator, don’t know what to call it, we certainly don’t either and would not know where to venture a guess. You wouldn’t believe the number of writers who query us on such things as a science fiction romance political thriller, with a little mystery thrown in for good measure. There has to be a more specific focus in your novel; otherwise, you have written something that is mainstream.

The vital information we need can be placed in that first paragraph and your hook can begin with a new paragraph that is still at the top of the letter. In other words, don’t mess around and stick the vitals stats of your novel somewhere in the depths of your query where we have to search for it.

The general theory being put forth by board gurus is that if you begin with a hook, the agent or editor is forced to read about your work to find the information they need. This might work, but I think those who assume this are taking a great risk. Faced with hundreds of queries in her inbox (if she even takes queries via email), many agents will only read a sentence or two before hitting the delete key or giving a standard or form rejection in frustration. Some agents have stopped taking email queries because they feel writers take advantage of them in this medium. We are still hanging in there, but the struggle sometimes isn’t worth the effort.

Although very busy, we continue to review queries because mining them is like gold mining—you never know when you’ll strike the mother lode. However, please understand that queries are a small part of our busy day, and if the choice is between reading your query or working with an editor on an important project, the project always takes precedence.

Most writers put their contact information and novel writing experience in the last one or two paragraphs and this is the correct position for this information.

Here are some points to ponder whether you send your queries via email or regular post:

  • Don’t forget the salutation (Dear Mr. Brown or Dear Ms. Martin). Many, many new writers think it’s cool to begin their letter with a hook. When viewed by us, it seems callous and rude, and no one likes rude people. Most importantly, it seems unprofessional.
  • Your e-mail’s cc: line filled with every agent in the book telegraphs that you probably have not researched agents, that you are desperate, and that you will settle for just about anyone. Next time, please leave our name off your list if you are querying forty other agents at the same time. Our finger automatically hits the delete key when we see this—it’s an automatic reflex and can’t be helped.
  • There are no agents named “To Whom It May Concern” or “Dear Agent” working here, so don’t send mail to them.
  • We will not spend more than a paragraph or two on your query, so don’t waste time writing those six-pagers. Five and one half of those pages will not be read.
    Also, we will not read a hook (short synopsis or jacket blurb) that’s over a paragraph long, so don’t crack your cranium there either. You should be able to express your novel in one paragraph if you really know what you’ve written.
  • Always check on what we are seeking (see for a list of current needs). Market books are outdated when written because markets are fluid, so always, no matter which agent you query, try to find the most updated source for information about or from that agent.
  • Novel writing experience is all we need. Don’t give us any other work-related information (fiction only).
  • Many loved your book—so what? A sample of a thousand enthusiastic local readers makes a small dent in the reading needs of a worldwide audience. Editors pooh-pooh this information immediately, and so do we.
  • Don’t query us about your failed self-publishing venture. If you want us to help you take your failure to a bigger market because you are tired of all the work and hope someone else will relieve you of this burden, don’t bother. If you couldn’t sell it, it’s doubtful anyone else can. We only represent original, never published manuscripts (don’t send books). If your self-publishing venture is super successful, then large publishers will contact you and then you can contact us.
  • Never bind any materials sent to us. Leave it loose, dude!
  • Don’t send anything that you want returned to you. According to new (they came out in 2001) postal regulations, anything over a pound must be handed to a postal official. We feel we have much more important things to do than stand at the post office because you want your chapters returned. If the expense of printing them up is too great, send an attachment—if we ask for it first, of course. This is why we prefer e-mail queries.
  • If you must send query by regular post and it will fit in a standard envelope, put it in one. It’s a waste of postage and materials to use large, clasped envelopes just because you don’t like creases in your letters. We don’t care. We only see the writing anyway.
  • Please don’t email us with your nasty comments when you receive our standard rejection. Our reason for rejection usually falls into two areas: (a) Your writing is not at a level that meets the requirements of editors we work with, or (b) You are not writing in an area we in which we have a current need.