Must be the trend—and it might even help. Seeing some of the supposed big hitters are posting no-no query beginnings, thought I’d get in the act by posting a few received over the weekend. Seeing everyone’s using the same format, I’ll use it too—the writer’s query then mine in brackets.
There are fools and there are great fools. You are a fool. (and I suppose that’s news)
I am writing to ask if you are looking at general novels. (possibly, if I can figure out what a general novel is)
I have read your updated guidelines, and believe my work fulfills your requirements in all regards. (Great Beans!!)
I am writing to submit for your consideration my 60,000-word women's literature novel (Yea!! And only about 30,000 words short)
Now, since you brought up the subject of "God," let me begin right there. (Oh you smoothie)
Hello Robert. Thank you for taking the time to read this querry. (q-u-e-r-y)
I’m searching for a literary agent for a recently completed novel (and I’m searching for writers who can write)
Hello, I am writing to you in regards to finding a Literary Agent. ( tea for “to” and you boo-boo)
While researching your agency, I followed the link to your needs list on your blog. (Good show. Would have left breadcrumbs, but)
I am a novice author and have a completed manuscript. (Then you need a novice agent)
What do you suppose all these query’s first or second sentences have in common? Give up? They all begin with personal stuff that shouldn’t be included in a query letter. So, even though it’s beginning to sound like a mantra, I’ll repeat it one more time:
A query letter is a business letter and therefore is impersonal—no personal information.
See a great example of a typical query letter here: http://blog.wylie-merrick.com/search/label/Query%20example